Lets start with some basics: Avoid names with meanings that may not be so complementary. Its kind of like accidentally laying on some voodoo at birth; probably nothing will happen but its best to avoid the chance anyway
Calvin: little bald one; no shit that is what it means! you are dooming your child to a life of tiny baldness... which is not quite as bad as.....
Kennedy- meaning ugly head (regular head you pervert; I know what you where thinking)
Here's a fun one! Persephone - meaning bearer of death; they will either end up a scary goth kid, or that girl from "the Ring"-- your choice
Agrippa apparently means sick or painful although idk who would actually name their child that, but whatever
Campbell is a double no no cause it apparently means Crooked mouth and also you just named your kid after a can of chicken and stars soup.... not cool mom, not cool
When talking strictly meaning there are also these gems:
Rachele- (spelled like that) means Ewe like a sheep but really .... lets be honest eeeew
Fabio- bean grower; or in my opinion it means "i can't believe it's not butter" but what do I know
Leod- Ugly; well that is certainly direct isn't it
Mallory- unlucky, which is funny because I would have guessed "duck-like" which is still not very complementary
Patsy- means gay in Australia; which is totally fine if your child is actually gay, but may be a problem if they move to what ever the redneck equivalent of Australia is
** also you may want to avoid the name Virginia because, though its very pretty they will at some point be called Virgina
Now lets discuss some general categories you should rule out:
1. Anything that sounds like a strippers name. ie Kandy, Chastity. Now I'm not trying to say that if you have this name you are a stripper, I know plenty of very wonderful ladies with names like this, i just also know lots of strippers with names like this
2. anything french for a boy. They will either turn out gay or really hot or most likely both. Personally I am more than ok with any of those outcomes but some people can be a touch sensitive so I am just letting them know
3. Don't make up a freaking name! Don't combine 2 names; don't add La, Le, Ta or any other syllable to an already existing name and call it your own! And i know what you are thinking ..." only the crazy black lady at the Burger king with the really long fingernails does that".... A) that is slightly racist B) that is completely untrue. I have heard so many crazy ass names from new money white ladies. Its like they just open the fucking dictionary and point to a word. Just cause Gwyneth Paltrow named her baby something weird doesn't mean you can!!! She has more money than you ! She can pay people not to make fun of her weird ass kid.... you cannot.
4. Don't name your kids with a theme. Like, alphabetical order, or all in K's. Do you want your kids to be like the Kardashians!? I sure as hell hope not; cause if you do you may want to consider not having children at all for the human race's sake. Don't make all their names rhyme or pull a Jayda and Will Smith and name the girl after the dad and the boy after the mom and think you are being all clever and covert.... people aren't that dumb, they will notice and secretly judge you.
5. if its on the top 10 names for any of the past 10 yrs don't use it. There is a reason its on that list; its because a lot of people have that name. Your kid may not hate you at 5 but I guarantee you that when they get to high school and they are one of 8 Ashleys in their class and they are forced to go by their middle name which will no doubt be something awful like Bertha (after their great-granmother's cousins mom or something), they will totally want to go back in time and slap the crap out of you
For your convenience I have included those names that are used too much:
As for me I think I may name my kids something obnoxiously pompous for no apparent reason.... like adding "the third" onto their name for no apparent reason or putting random accents on the wrong syllables so I can annoyingly correct people when they inevitably say my child's name wrong. Maybe I'll name them after some inanimate object or animal like Lobster Tin-can Champagne. Or better yet, name them to coordinate more uniquely with their last name like Moet Chadon Champagne, Dom Perignon Champagne, and Cristal Brut Champagne. Fortunately for my mother-in-law's sake kids are hopefully a while away for me and I have time to change my mind.... although I can't imagine why I would
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