chats with Kristen

Kate: Homosexuals may cross-dress for fun on occasion.... DIT just taught me that...
Kristen: everything we need to know in life we can learn from Rue Paul's Drag Race

Kate: Holy crap! did you get raptures already? (no answer from Kristen) So now that u've been raptured... assuming you still have phone service..... can I have your cat bank?
Kristen: oh you're not in heaven right now too.... Awkwaard!
Kate: How do you still have service? Is sprint the official service provider of heaven?
Kristen: Totally! There's a ton of billboards..."Sprint: official sponsor of clouds and shit"

Kristen: A tornado almost ate our hotel last night!
Kate: seriously?
Kristen: they had us all gathered in the ball room down stairs.... cuz tornados don't like to dance i guess

Kate: pregnancy can give you sheehans and cancer! so you are fat and hairy and uterus-less... then no man will want you! Then all you gots is a baby daddy wif no child support cause he don't wanna claim he eva slept wif you and you gots to go on maury and get a DNA test and  yell "he look just like you! Even yo mamma say so!"
Kristen: for real! and then he gunna yell somethin like "look at that baby's knee! that knee don't look nuthin like mine!"
Kate: we should watch more maury
Kristen: no, i think we should just start our own show. With Oprha gone someone needs to inform the public not to have babies

Kate: i took  a nap today and karma rewarded me with dog vomit on the floor when i got up... no more naps for me
Kristen: kate, you can't let a little dog vomit control how you run your life

Kate: i think a tetanus carrying rabbid raccoon crawled up into my shoulder and died because it is super stiff and on fire
Kristen: maybe its just your body rejecting the studying
Kate: are you sure its not the raccoon because I feel like this is somethinng we might want to inform the public about on our new show.... its what oprha would do
Kristen: very true. you know my toe has been hurting and i thought it was my shoes but maybe its one of those damn raccoons. We need this show as a platform to warn the people!
Kate: i feel like if we don't get this show soon... people may die from being uniformed
Kristen: definitely. i feel like our having a show might save the rainforest
Kate: might?! Will!